This

The weekend was filled with some of my favorite people, starting and ending with Kyle Cassidy, who was in town taking more photographs of tattooed veterans for his next book, War Paint. The Tinley Park local paper did a nice little write up here.

After picking Kyle up from the airport, we met with friends at Karyn’s on Green, a lovely vegan restaurant where the Brussels sprouts are heavenly, the fries fantastic, and the service wonderful. We had great conversation that ranged from life-changing effects of world travel to the changing face of time and memory, as well as talk about films, books, and photography. I love lunches like that. I love these people, new and older friends, who enrich my life in so many ways.

Kyle went off to Tinley Park, and we reconnected on Sunday after I ran from a semiannual Board meeting for the Chicago Writers Association to another inspiring meeting of the Chicago Creative Co-op (a.k.a. The Coop).

Most people stuck around to have dinner with Kyle, who joined us after taking photographs in the southwest suburbs. We also met Braden (who had been Kyle’s assistant in Tinley Park) and his girlfriend Tia, who fit in seamlessly with the group.

Another large dinner party gathered around our dining room table, with more lively conversation, followed by a house concert by the sweet and talented Molly Robison (who will be releasing her debut EP Bedrooms & Attics, in Spring 2011).

After folks went home and the kids went to bed, Kyle & I had the chance to chat as the embers died down on the fireplace. It was another moment, perfect and so dear.

This poem from e.e. cummings came my way today(after coming to my attention several time in the last week), this time from Jason Webley’s email and blog post:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

When I was twelve and oh-so-sad and lonely, or twenty and conflicted about my path, or thirty and tired and overwhelmed, I dreamed of this.

I dreamed of a home where I welcome intelligent, creative people; where I nourish my children with good food, friends, art, and stories; where I share meals with friends, laugh with my husband, write and read and dance and play.

I dreamed of the time and space to do what I love, to talk with people I respect and admire, to encourage people I believe in.

I may have been sad or discouraged or alone, but I always dreamed. Of this.

And I have more. Dreams of new and amazing days.

Just like this weekend.

May your day be amazing in the ways that matter most to you.

Interlude

One of my intentions for 2011 is to write more: books, blog, personal correspondence. I’m working on edits for S.C. I have a longer blog in the works, but in the meantime I wanted to finish this wee one I began a few weeks ago.

I’d like to share a few albums & artists that I discovered and loved in 2010 (Many of them are not new, just new to me).

For the last seven years, I feel like my musical listening has consisted primarily of children’s music with the occasional beloved album from my youth thrown in for comfort listening. Of mainstream artists, I have NO clue. Any new listening has come from the trusted recommendations of friends, online and off. I don’t own an iPod, and most music I listen to is on my computer or in the car (on old fashioned cds).

So…here are my top ten (in no particular order) new-to-me artists of 2010:

Sxip Shirey

Kim Boekbinder

Lance Horne

Zoë Keating

Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky

Mucca Pazza

Hera Hjartardottir

Arcade Fire

Gabriel Yared

Bitter Ruin

It’s a varied list, but each is rich and wonderful in their own way.

Connections

Tonight is Ukrainian Christmas Eve, Sviat Vechir (Holy Night). Like the Greek Orthodox and many Eastern Rite Catholics, many Ukrainians families will be gathering together at their baba’s or mama’s or aunt’s houses to eat some variation of the traditional twelve dishes and sing Ukrainian carols.

This year we will go to my mother’s house for Sviata Vecheria (Holy Supper), where we’ll eat varenyky, borshch, kutia, fish, etc. We will leave one seat open for the ancestors, those beloved Dead we remember by name and give a sampling of each meal on their special plate. Later I’ll take that food outside to the tree in my parent’s yard, the one I call the Ancestor Tree. The first Ancestor Tree was cut down, but this one is a beautiful magnolia (She’s the same one pictured in my author photo. She’s a special tree.)

I thought about sharing more of the meal with you, but then I remembered that I’ve done this before.

In The Silence of Trees, I give readers a taste of the kind of Sviat Vechir I remember from childhood, when dozens of us would fill my Baba’s little house in the Ukrainian Village. Our family is not that big, not yet. Maybe someday.

But even smaller in scale, the holiday is still special for me, sacred really, these traditions that have been performed by my family for generations, in the dark of winter on Ukrainian soil. It’s about connection and communion and being part of a story that stretches backward and forward in time. This is what we have done and what we continue to do. Even when so much changes in the world, even when we change, we remember.  This is how we connect, and in the end, it’s the connections that really matter.

So I leave you with a scene from The Silence of Trees and wish you Veselykh Sviat (Happy Holidays):

On the way home, I stopped at a local flower shop to pick up some wheat and hay. Back home, people believed that our Ukrainian ancestors lived among the fields and crops, the trees and flowers, helping to ensure that each harvest was prosperous, that the lives of their descendants were happy. During the Feast of Obzhynky, the harvest, the best stalks of wheat were gathered into a sheaf called the didukh. On Christmas Eve, the didukh was placed in a special corner for the winter holidays. The ancestors would make their entrance into the family’s home with the arrival of the didukh.

In America, I had had to settle for store-bought wheat, and I hoped that my intention when I was fashioning the didukh would please the ancestors. This year I would be inviting many more than before into my home, and I wanted their arrival to be happy.

Once I was home, I put on a pot of coffee and lit a candle in the icon corner. I checked on the kutia, added a bit more honey, and then got to work preparing the dinner. The dishes were meatless to honor the animals that had given so much during the year. Each dish had its own special meaning. They were the same dishes my Mama used to make, and my Baba before her. Twelve ancient dishes—one for each apostle and each full moon in the year, my Baba used to say.

“These dishes have magical properties, little mouse. They were once served on the longest night of the year,” Baba said, while peeling potatoes for the varenyky. “Each one has a story, and when you make them, you should remember the story like a prayer for your family.”

“A prayer, Baba? Like the ‘Our Father’?” I asked, while playing with the hay we were going to spread under the table for dinner.

“A little bit. But these prayers are older than that. They are like the prayers of a pine tree when a bird makes a nest in her branches, or the prayers of a river when she is full of fish. These are prayers of the spirit, blessings that the mistress of the house prepares for her entire family. You must make each dish with intention. It is a special job, to be taken seriously—” Baba stooped down to tickle me. “—but also with much joy. That’s why it’s good to cook in a house filled with laughter. Some of that joy will get passed into the food and will help the meal be happy.”

So as I prepared the foods, I made my silent blessings—ancient prayers that joined me to a chain of women stretching backward and forward in time. With each sacred ingredient, I blessed my children and their children and their children, on into the future:

Kolachi: Three loaves of bread, each braided into a circle. Everything is interconnected. May they honor life in all its forms.

Kutia: Wheat sweetened by Baba’s wisdom. May they remember their roots,

Borshch: May these tart beets brighten their cheeks and bring them passion.

Baked fish: May they swim in a sea filled with love.

Pickled herring: May they find compassion in times of sorrow.

Pidpenky mushrooms: Let them remember to find beauty in all creation.

Holubtsi: As these cabbage rolls are bursting with rice, may their minds be filled with inspiration.

Varenyky: May they always be grounded, their bellies filled with good food and good sense.

Beans: May they also soar, with active imaginations and open minds.

Cabbage: When times are sour, may they turn to one another for comfort.

Beets with mushrooms: May they find a balance of desire and stability.

Fruit compote: May they not wait until the end of their lives to find the sweetness of joy.

Makivnyk: Cake swirled with poppies and sweetened with honey, like life’s spiral of joy and sadness. At the end of their days, may they have the courage to face their ghosts and dreams, their successes and disappointments.

I thought to myself, when I am gone, who will continue the traditions? Katya? She has no children of her own. Zirka has decided that Ukrainian foods are too high in calories, so she prepares bland versions of some dishes and completely avoids others. Maybe Ivanka. And Lesya, what will Lesya do with her German husband? Will they incorporate his traditions with hers?

Eager to rest my feet, I sat down at the table to fashion the didukh, which I tied with a pretty blue and yellow embroidered ribbon. It had always been Pavlo’s job to make the didukh, and the year before we did not have one.

I went outside to walk clockwise around the house three times before coming back in and placing the didukh in the eastern corner of the dining room, beside the icons, on top of an embroidered cloth. Then I arranged the leftover wheat stalks in a vase and carefully placed hay under the dining room table, hiding nuts, candy, and coins inside the hay for the children to find after the meal.

While I was arranging the treats under the table, Katya arrived at the back door. I heard her unloading things on the kitchen table.

“Are you here, Ma?” she asked.

“Under the table. Did you buy the kolach?”

“Of course.”

“Would you spread out the tablecloths and put the kolach on the table? Place a white candle in the center,”

“You forget I’ve been doing this my whole life,” she said, bending down to show me the loaf of braided bread with a candle already in its center. “And you should have waited for me to do the hay. You don’t need to be bending down under tables.”

“I’m not so old, Katya.”

I walked back to the kitchen and handed her four cloves of garlic to place under the four corners of the tablecloth, to ward off any evil spirits. Together we set out all the candles I had around the house, leaving one in the window to welcome travelers. We warmed the food on the stove and changed our clothes. Then I opened a window to cool off the kitchen, and we sat down to have some tea as we waited for the family to arrive.